Every Other Day

"Every other day (every other day) of the week is fine, yeah.
But when Monday comes..."

My resolution for daily posts seems to have broken down. Like everything else, I need to work on that.

However, today, my counselor Ken, brought up my perfectionism as a source of conflict and problems. I guess I never really thought much about it specifically. I'm good at certain things and I try to maintain and perfect (aha!) my skills over time.

But it's that inherent alcoholic desire for control that paradoxically leads to a loss of control. We categorize and isolate, but acceptance comes at a cost. And accepting that we might be at fault or make a mistake is the toughest thing. Although (again, paradoxically) we are very good at blaming ourselves for circumstances over which we have absolutely no control.

For instance, the loss of my job. I've spent too much time wondering what I did wrong, how I couldn't see it coming, what I should have done differently? When the most likely reasons I was laid off have little to nothing to do with me as an individual. I was a very expensive, long term, remote employee with vague job responsibilities. HP has changed as a company to not value the unique things I brought to the table.

Ugh. It's depressing just thinking about it. When I figure out a way to turn this thread in a positive direction, I'll be back. (My younger son, Gary, is ready to accompany me to the grocery store, so I need to be responsive to his desire to help when he wants to help. I'm only slightly being sarcastic here. I need to go now to the grocery store anyway. And now is as good a time as any.)

More as the situation develops. Back to you [insert name of news anchor here].